With yourself

Feel your feelings – Bryant Mcgill


So many of us tell ourselves to be artificially strong… to pretend that we are ok even when we are not. This quote is a timely reminder for all of us. Feel through your feelings. Experience it in its entirety and learn to respect the way you feel. And if you pay close enough attention to your feelings, you would know when to move on from those feelings that keep you stuck. A flower will suddenly bloom in the midst of the swamp land of your soul and you will get a choice in whether you want to pluck the courage and walk out of the swamp or stay and brood.

I have observed that those who deny their feelings end up violent, aggressive, abusive and overall, very disturbed. Those who choose to stay and brood are not better off either. But these things can happen to any of us.

Journalling helps. Talking with a trusted friend helps. Sitting in silence helps. Being in nature helps. But we are all different. What works for me, might not work for you. If you need professional help, please reach out. There is no need to be ashamed. There is nothing wrong in being vulnerable.

“The truth is that life can be very difficult at times. There can be a lot of pressure to keep it all together, to be smart and beautiful, to be so good and perfect. But sometimes we don’t have it together at all. Sometimes we make mistakes. Sometimes we don’t feel good or look our best. Sometimes things are not good at all, and we feel miserable, lonely or depressed. If you have lost your way and feel down, that feeling belongs to you. If you feel miserable — it’s yours, and no one should take it away from you. It’s important to feel your feelings. Maybe things honestly aren’t very good at all right now. Maybe you have good reasons to be depressed, and the last thing you need is someone telling you to be happy. But one thing you do need, is at least the respect from others to let you sit with your valid feelings. You don’t always need a cheerleader, but just someone to simply be a friend by acknowledging where you actually are, and how you really feel. Real problems can’t be fixed with a motivational poster, a cute quote or a pat on the back. When you are in your pain, it does not matter how intrinsically special you are, or how beautiful life is, or how precious each moment is — if you don’t accept and respect your suffering, it isn’t going anywhere. Submit to your pain; don’t suppress your pain. If you can sit with your pain, listen to your pain and respect your pain — in time you will move through your pain.

Pain is like a healing emotional fever. Allow your pain to cleanse you and burn away what needs to die. A new and better you will grow from the ashes. The most important parts of your life will be marked by pain. Some of the most amazing people in the world were not perfect; they were scarred by suffering, hardships, losses and imperfections. But, when they recovered, they were stronger, wiser, and more loving and compassionate. Your life is going to get better in the proper time, and you will be stronger and more at peace than ever before. Out of our suffering we emerge. Our struggles are really our only hope. Stay strong.”

— Bryant McGill

photo credit: John Bastoen Beachwalk via photopin (license)


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